Statistics show that the average length of a marriage in America is 8.2 years. When people get married, no one wishes it to end soon. So, you wonder what kills a loving relationship?
Is it the insecurity or jealousy? Or is it because you are not honest with each other? Or is one of you full of stress and negativity? Maybe, but none of them is the root cause that ends a loving relationship. Surprised? Let’s talk about it.
How people are attracted to each other
When you meet someone, if how they look, talk, and interact with you or others left a good impression, you are attracted. That’s what most people have experienced.
What you don’t know is that before you see or interact with the other person, your qi has sensed them. Then it will drive you towards them or away from them. That is your instinct or intuition which is beyond your logic.
As I explained in the article, humans have three levels of existence: Jing Qi and Shen. Your Qi is not limited to your body. And you are interacting with all things around through your Qi.
Depending on an individual’s qi power, your Qi naturally permeates in a radius of half a meter to several meters of your body. When you pay attention to something or someone in the distance, your Qi can reach out even further.
differences attract not similarities
Have you noticed that the person you are most attracted to has different qualities? In most cases, the opposite qualities. For example, tall and short, big and petite, introvert and extrovert, mature and young, nerd and free spirit, masculine and feminine.
Therefore, your instinct drives you towards a person when it finds that they have different qualities. If the two of you are opposite in several qualities, just like the magnets, you will find each other very attractive.
However, you think it’s because you share the same interests, have the same goal, or enjoy the same lifestyle. That’s why when people separate, their reason is that they’ve lost their common goal or interest.
Same interest, goal, and lifestyle are what matter to your mind. Because your logical mind prefers familiarity so that it feels secure. To your intellect, differences are catastrophic. To know more about the mind, read the article: your mind doesn’t know.
That kills a loving relationship
However, your body doesn’t follow your mind. They follow your instinct which your qi directs. Your qi’s intelligence is way more fundamental than your logical intellect.
Qi knows what works for life. When Yin and Yang meet, new life begins. When the opposite qualities meet, change will happen. Changes can bring excitement and vitality.
But you want the other person to think like you and behave like you. That’s what your mind wants, not your body. Sex is what your body wants and initiates. That’s why many couples experience sexless marriage.
what is love
Some of you might not agree. You think because you no longer feel the other person’s love, intimacy cannot happen.
The truth is love is not something you get from other people. Love is what you create from within. You can’t feel their love, you can only feel your love for them. The same thing, they can’t feel your love, they feel their love for you.
Love happens when your physical and energy synchronize with each other. That is in qigong terminology, when your Jing and Qi two levels of qi synchs, your body will naturally produce loving chemistry.
Unfortunately, when your mind interferes, you start to judge and compare. Even if it happens in the back of your head, all of a sudden, your qi stops synchronizing with theirs. Then loving chemistry stops.
Can you see that? It is your intellect mind that kills your loving relationship. Luckily, there’s a quick fix.
When the two of you start physical contact, your qi can be back in synch. Sex is not the only physical contact. Holding hands, hugging, and rubbing shoulders, back, and waist are intimate touches too.
Your intellect is a great tool to deal with things, not people. Judging and comparing are its core functions.
When you use your intellect mind to deal with people, no relationship can survive. Family relationships, friendship, coworker relationships, and of course, loving relationships. Because no one likes to be judged or compared.
A loving relationship is probably the most vulnerable one. When you two are together for five years or more, you often show your nastiest side when being with your partner alone.
How many times have you unknowingly hurt them, not necessarily physically but verbally and emotionally? Your mind initiates all those abuses unconsciously because you are unhappy.
how to find love
If you really want to save your loving relationship, you need to work on your inner completeness. Even if you can’t save the current one, you won’t fail the next one.
Once you realize that your life is not dependent on any other person; when you stop seeking happiness from the outside, you find the inner completeness.
When you are complete and fulfilled, you will be happy and satisfied unconditionally. You won’t ask anything from anyone and you will start to give. Anyone would love to be with a generous giver.
When you stop asking and start giving, you will get more than what you want. That being said, don’t pursue love; love will find you.
Today, there are more and more people separated after 20 or 30 years of marriage. The divorce rate of people over 50 is doubled.
Surveys found that those couples have drifted apart or been unhappy for years. Their unhappiness comes from their difference in finances, interests, and emotional fulfillment, so they think.
If you want your partner to make you happy, you are miserable. Unconditional happiness happens only when you find the inner completion.
You came alone and will leave alone. You can share wonderful experiences with all relationships including your romantic relationship. But you never own them and they never own you. Each one of you is a complete life.
To attract love and enjoy sex in a loving relationship, you need to practice qigong to strengthen your qi power. So that you can be more sensitive when such life with great opposite qualities is nearby. If you are new to qigong, you can read the ultimate guide for qigong beginners to start.
One thing to note: financial difficulties and betrayal can kill a loving relationship instantly. Statistics show that most relationship crises associate with money stresses.
You will have a chance to join our unique money program in Onenergy qigong and meditation APP. In that money program, I will talk about money and wealth that you never thought about.