In 2011, I had an accident that completely changed me. I had a beautiful deep meditation that morning and I had recently started to naturally make discoveries about the universal laws. My positive mindset was attracting positivity to my life. I was feeling happy. On my way to work early that morning, in March 2011, I was driving on the Auckland Motorway at about 100kph. I was completely in the zone, full of joy and listening to a Modest Mouse CD. Suddenly, the car just started to swerve and I couldn’t gain control. I put on the brakes and the car spun out and then crashed into the side barrier of the motorway. As the car was about to hit the side barrier, I thought “I’m going to die!” Then in the second before the car hit the barrier I accepted my death. Thankfully I had a seat belt on so I was not physically injured. But I was in shock. I saw the car radiator steaming. Thinking that the car might blow up (like in the movies) I ran out of the car.
The very first thing that came to my mind was that I desperately needed human contact. Some people had stopped to make sure I was okay. I looked over and saw a man that had been driving a truck, that stopped just behind me, and intuitively didn’t want to hug him. Then I saw a Maori lady from the car in front. I walked up to her and said “I just need a hug!” I embraced this stranger for a long time. I have no idea how long. My perception of time had disappeared. After the very long hug, she politely told me that she had to get back to her child at home. The ambulance came to check I was okay. I kept telling them I was fine. In fact, I felt more than fine. I was spacey and completely opened up energetically to the universal love. I just felt so much love for these strangers and couldn’t help but express my gratitude for the wonderful work they do.
The days that followed I was happy to be alive. Then after a few days, I started to experience extremely heightened levels of sensitivity. In the weeks that followed, I began to hear and sense spirits. It freaked me out. I became scared to be alone and I got paranoid that my place was going to get burgled. So I moved out of the place I was renting and moved into a flat with other people. This made me feel safer but the spiritual experiences didn’t stop. In fact, they got even more scary. I would sit down to meditate and feel the presence of a man behind me, wake up in the early hours with the smell of petrol in the room, I felt spirits touching me, and even sensed the man spirit sleeping in my bed next to me. I became terrified to fall asleep. I would have conscious out-of-body experiences and many nights of ‘Sleep paralysis’. These things only served to make me more afraid. It wasn’t all scary though. I did also have some very beautiful dreams of connecting with angelic beings and also my nana. I stopped meditating for a while because I became too sensitive when meditating. Yoga became important to me, as I needed something to relax me. I was suffering anxiety and insomnia. I also had started to develop sensitivity to certain foods. My body’s digestion was becoming sluggish and I had developed candida overgrowth in my body.
I had two choices: Either admit that I was going mad and go see a doctor (I suspect a medical doctor would have said that I was suffering PTSD), or accept that I was going through a spiritual awakening. I knew deep down that there was a divine purpose to all that had happened, so I decided to accept that I was having a spiritual awakening. I became obsessed with the spiritual world and felt connected to my soul more deeply than ever before. There were many aspects of my life that I knew I had to give up, such as drinking alcohol. I started to surf the internet and find things about quantum physics, mind/body medicine, and other such topics. I explored receiving energy healings, using crystals for protection, using white light to protect myself, naturopathy, float tanks, bodywork, and other ways to try to help myself. Some of these explorations helped, but they weren’t able to truly shift me from the place of fear, and therefore I was still afraid to sleep and the anxiety remained. It got better with time though, and the scary experiences started to happen less often.
After a year or so I received acupuncture from someone with knowledge of qigong. After two weeks of acupuncture, my driving anxiety was gone. The acupuncturist recommended to me that I practice qigong. So I eventually found a qigong teacher. The qigong practice had noticeable benefits quite soon after starting my practice. Because I was so sensitive, I could feel the qi straight away, and over time, instead of being so closed off, protective, and afraid to receive energy, I started to open up. My qi reserves slowly started to replenish. I noticed myself becoming more confident and I would seek out opportunities to grow this confidence, such as reading poetry at an open mic event, teaching yoga, and teaching meditation to my co-workers.
In 2017, I went to China for three months to train as a teacher in Zhineng qigong – Levels 1, 2, and 3. I expected some amazing transformation, and I did receive that. The transformation served to ground me to the Earth, bring desires into manifestation, and bring me back into my body more. My qigong practice continues to help me to grow in strength and wisdom. Now, I am sharing the wisdom that I have gained.
I will speak briefly about the spiritual experiences of the ‘ghosts’ (from my now state) on the level of qi, information, and consciousness. I speak in simplified terms of what Dr Pang (MD, traditional Chinese Medicine doctor, and a university professor) speaks about in his lecture called ‘Using Yishi’. The scary man spirit that came to me, during my awakening experience, was simply what some spiritual folk refer to as a ‘thoughtform’.
You see, somewhere in my life, or my soul’s evolution, I had an experience of a scary man combined with the emotion of fear. The emotions and thoughts of fear attached to the information of the scary man, stayed within my field of consciousness, and later manifested as dense qi (or a thoughtform). So the scary man spirit was simply dense qi and information which attached on the level of emotion to my field of consciousness. And as you can see lately in society, through the media, this information is also held within the collective consciousness. If I look at this thoughtform as an aspect of me, and purify and expand my consciousness, then I can begin to transcend this information stored within my body at a deep emotional level and thus free myself from this conditioning.
In Zhineng qigong, we are taught: Merge with the universe. These three words, so simple, are such a high level teaching and, when done in the pure consciousness state, can help us to overcome our deepest fears. When we, as a society, can take the information (of Zhineng qigong science) on consciousness and merge it with the Western Medicine Model, we can bring about a healthier and more harmonious world. This harmonious world, where people have inner peace, harmonious relationships, and live in harmony with the natural world, is the dream of Zhineng qigong.
My deepest gratitude to all the wonderful teachers of Zhineng qigong who are doing such amazing work to expand consciousness.
Image credit to J.W.Vein